Grief & Loss

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Overview

Grief is a natural response to loss such as the death of a loved one. It can be painful to cope with loss and affects everyone differently.

According to one, non-linear model (Kübler-Ross), the five stages of grief are:

  1. Denial: Following the loss of a loved one, some may deny the reality of what has occurred.

  2. Anger: During this phase, it’s common to experience anger, which may be directed at various people.

  3. Bargaining: This may include “if only” and “what if” thoughts.

  4. Depression: Emotions may weigh heavily during this time with a desire for isolation from others.

  5. Acceptance: This is accepting the reality of the loss and comprehending its significance.

Over time, additional models have emerged, but people often can relate to at least some of these stages. 

Most people find ways to adapt to their loss and eventually integrate it into their lives, although it doesn’t mean the pain disappears entirely. Grief is a process of learning to live with the absence or change caused by loss. It is crucial to seek help and support during that time.

What are the different types of Grief?

Depending on the situation, individuals may go through different types of grief. These forms are recognized by most mental health professionals.
 

Complicated Grief

Also known as prolonged grief, this type is characterized by an extended and intense grieving process that may be accompanied by feelings of disbelief or bitterness.

Anticipatory Grief

This occurs when people start to grieve a loss before it actually happens. It is often associated with the impending death of a loved one due to a terminal illness.

Traumatic Grief

Traumatic grief occurs in response to sudden, unexpected, or violent losses. It is often associated with traumatic events such as accidents, natural disasters, acts of violence, or suicide. Traumatic grief can be more complicated and overwhelming, with symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) being common.

Secondary Grief

This is when individuals are indirectly affected by a loss, often when they are supporting someone who is grieving. Caregivers, friends, and family members of the bereaved can experience their own form of grief as they navigate the challenges and emotions of supporting the person who has experienced the primary loss.

What is Grief Counseling?

Mental health professionals, such as psychologists, may use a combination of psychotherapies. Some forms of therapy may include:

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy focuses on helping individuals recognize unhelpful thought patterns and behaviors. CBT involves techniques where negative thought patterns are replaced with more balanced ones. This therapy has been well-studied and is typically used by professionals.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy focuses on promoting psychological flexibility and overall well-being. It acknowledges that suffering is a normal part of life and helps individuals accept difficult thoughts instead of trying to control or avoid them. ACT focuses on being mindful and goal-setting.

Mindfulness Practices

Mindfulness practices cultivate a focused and non-judgmental awareness of the present moment. They involve paying deliberate attention to sensations, thoughts, and emotions without attempting to change or judge them.

Narrative Therapy

Narrative Therapy focuses on the way individuals construct and interpret the stories of their lives. It separates the person from the problem, helping individuals gain a more empowering perspective on their challenges. 

Art Therapy

Art therapy can help individuals express themselves non-verbally. For children, it might be encouraged to create a drawing or painting that represents the person they are mourning.

Play Therapy for Children

Play therapy engages in various forms of play, such as using toys, art, and imaginative activities. Through these activities, children can explore and express their emotions, work through challenges, and develop coping strategies. Play therapy helps build self-esteem, improve social skills, and address behavioral and emotional issues.

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Why seek help from a psychologist rather than some other type of therapist?
  • Psychologists are among the most rigorously trained mental health professionals. Psychologists complete doctorate level coursework, several years of clinical rotations/practicums, a year long predoctoral internship, & a year long postdoctoral fellowship.
  • In addition to having the highest level of training, psychologists are licensed to complete psychological assessments (often with comparative normative data to help you understand and target a specific concern) to fully understand a concern. Psychologists often see this initial assessment as the key to designing an informed, individualized, and focused treatment plan.
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  • Psychologists often have medical / healthcare backgrounds and work closely with physicians and other medical providers when biological interventions are incorporated into treatment (e.g., medications).

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